How Stopping to Apologize Changed My Life
Imagine you are a navigator lost in a forest with a group of people .You can take one of the two paths to be out safe and sound. After all your calculations and predictions, you are certain that the path on your right is going to take all of you home. You start explaining your reasoning to people saying,”I am sorry,but after all these calculations, I think we should take this way. I might be wrong still my calculations blah blah”. Even though you have spent half of your life in learning to navigate, your heart isn’t ready to accept the idea of you being right.
“Hey, I am sorry, but I think…”
“I am sorry if I talked a lot.”
“I am sorry for this…”
“I am sorry for that…”
These are few sentences I have used more than I should probably have in all my life. Growing up, I had a hard time connecting with people. A part of me felt it was all my fault that being around people exhausted me. Maybe I am anti-social? Maybe I don’t belong here? Who knew I was actually an introvert? Who knew it was fine to be myself?
Life changed. It took me on a crazy ride to the places I never thought I would go to. I met people whom I can’t believe are real because being around them doesn’t feel like being around robots; it feels as if I am around a human being, in a safe zone where I can share all my vulnerabilities. As I tried to speak with them, I would always start or end with “I am sorry if I offended you…”, “I am sorry if I wasn’t supposed too..”, and “I am sorry if that’s not alright”. A part of me believed that I was always wrong. Everything I felt or thought wasn’t right because I had never been accepted for who I was. After spending endless hours on self-analysis and being loved by amazing people for whom I am, now I say to myself, “Sweetheart, you aren’t wrong. You are you. While it is frustrating for not being understood, it is empowering to be who you are. Don’t let that go.”
It took me 19 years of my life to accept myself for who I am.And this feeling, I am telling you; it’s powerful. It’s life-changing.It has let me understand the power of my imagination and kindness. And there’s still a long way to go in figuring out who I am and where I belong, yet the heart is excited with little fear and scar for the journey ahead.
If you are navigating your life, remind yourself that nobody might ever be able to see you in the way you do, but that doesn’t mean you should let your sparks die. As long as there is love and empathy for people’s reality, there’s is going to be peace of mind. The best thing in life come to you when you stop stressing about it and live in the moment. Be happy and love yourself!
